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Life’s Too Short to be Anything but Beautiful May 15, 2011

Posted by Nemuu in Stuff I Wride.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There is beauty in everything, but not everyone sees it. You could say it’s a cruel world we live in, but I think it’s beautiful. That doesn’t mean I’m naive. I just choose to live, and live beautifully.

Today, there seem to be a lot of broken hearts out there. The Internet is practically littered with them. Girls who are so broken they can’t get past it. Beautiful girls. And I don’t mean physically; I honestly think there’s something about being broken that makes you beautiful in your own way. It does make me sad sometimes – I wish I could blow fairydust on all these girls and cure their hearts. Everybody deserves to be happy. How long do you need to punish yourself before you can ever begin to forgive yourself?

Don’t get me wrong – I never said I wasn’t a little broken myself. I still beat myself up over past mistakes and regrets, over sins that shame me that I know I can never get past, still can’t forgive myself for things in the past that I let happen. I’ve been at the lowest point of my life, and stayed there – for about five months. I know what it’s like to wake up in the mornings feeling completely void and empty inside, to spend my weekdays going through the motions at work, weekends staying in bed all day. I’ve lost faith. I’ve had days where I can’t think of a single thing to live for. I’ve grappled with hope that didn’t stay for long. I know what it’s like. Trust me.

But the thing is, I chose to get back on my own two feet. One day I was in bed the whole day, trying to sleep off the pain, and when I was done with that, I decided I had to pull myself together. It was about time. And when you put your life back together, it means taking the lessons you’ve learnt from your past. Lessons, not traumas. Not phobias. No, nothing of the sort. You can’t be so afraid to live that you miss out on all the beautiful things life has to offer. Just because one person broke your trust, it doesn’t mean you should never trust again. I’m not saying you should keep naively trusting everyone; just trust wisely.

It makes me wonder if the world has always been this way: full of beautiful girls who can’t get back on their feet because they fell in love too young. Has it? Or is it the present culture that glorifies love too much, which at the same time glorifies broken hearts? Songs, movies, dramas – they make people want to fall in love, and when people fall out, they make them stay there. I mean, if someone broke your heart, the songs you listen to, naturally, are the ones that you relate to. Songs about the broken-hearted. And if you keep listening to these songs, how do you get out of this supermassive black hole you’ve fallen into? Or maybe we’re just putting too much blame on the media, because it’s so easy, and because they make it so easy.

So how do you get back on your feet? I can’t tell you; no one can. It’s a choice you have to make, and once you’ve made that choice, it’s really up to you how you pull yourself together.

And although I may say that being broken makes you beautiful in its own way, consider this: have you ever looked at someone and noticed how their smile lit up the room? I’m not talking about someone you love, whose smile brightens your gloomy days. I’m talking about a complete stranger or someone you know, maybe in photographs or possibly in real life, who smiled and made you fall in love with their smile because of how happy they looked and how their happiness made them glow. Believe me, there are actually people like that. I’ve seen them.

And these are the people who inspired me to want to live beautifully. So what if they’re not rich and famous, so what if they’re not stick-thin models walking the runway, so what if they’re just normal, ordinary people? They’re happy and they have smiles that can light up the night sky. If you saw them, too, you would never ask how I knew they were happy. With these people, you can tell that their smiles are genuine. Yes, I’m aware that there are people who hide behind fake smiles; but there are also people who could never hide Happy if they tried.

I want to live life that way. With the kind of smile that could light up the whole world. Because life’s a bush of roses – you can either cling on to the thorns or get to the flower at the top. Your choice.